The Best Ben Can Do | Below Deck Down Under S4 E7

Hey, hello and welcome to another brand spanking new episode of Bad TV, a podcast wherein today we break down uh Bravos Below Deck and I’m >> want to clear your throat.
>> Was it bad?
>> Kayn, >> I didn’t notice it.
>> Unnecessary. Unnecessary, I think.
[clears throat] Forgive me.
>> There you go.
>> Do you have a lighter in here?
>> Uh maybe. So, it’s Bad TV and it’s here for your ears and we’re talking about Below Deck. I’m Dylan. That’s Pat.
>> Permission to come aboard.
>> Uh, Kayn. Hello.
>> Hey.
>> I can kind of hear it now. I can kind of hear it now.
>> Okay.
>> Um, how you doing?
>> I’m doing great. How >> What are you doing this weekend?
>> Oh, this weekend? Um, well, >> we record early. We’re Mariah Carey.
That’s why.
>> You want to know who was Mariah Carey?
>> Who?
>> Ben.
>> Oh my god. You icking him?
>> What?
>> We’ll get into it.
>> I’m going to have a I’m going to have this young woman do all my work for me while I go draw myself a bubble bath.
>> Oh, first off, >> what are you, Mar Gaddafi? What the [ __ ] is wrong with you?
>> Um, we’ll get >> That was a weird poll. I don’t know why I compared [laughter] him.
>> Yeah, >> I don’t know why.
>> I never thought of him taking a bath.
>> Yeah, I don’t know why. Oh, well, he took a lot of baths.
>> Oh, okay.
>> Yeah.
>> Anyway, uh, where were we? Oh, my weekend. Yeah. Okay. Uh, this weekend is Elliot’s uh, ninth day of celebrating her sixth birthday. We have family coming over. Yeah.
>> Uh, we just got through her actual birthday with uh, 18 of her friends came over for a spa party that I [snorts] floated.
>> Sweet six.
>> Oh, yeah. There’s nothing like uh, paying for 18 uh, six-year-olds to come over here and get their nails done, their little toes done, get massages. I wish you would have invited me cuz I would have I would have gone up to Ellie and I would have put my arm around her and I would have gone, “You see all these little girls?
>> They’re not going to mean anything to you when you grow up. You’re not going to know any of them.” Maybe one. Maybe one. And your dad had to pay for all of them to come here.
>> Stop doing this to him. Stop doing it.
That’s what I would have said.
>> She’s not doing this to me. Her mother Her.
>> Her mother is. Yeah.
>> Her mother is.
>> Anyway, that’s what I That’s what I was up to last weekend.
>> That little child. Um, by the way, me and Ellie and Quinn had had some great uncle time yesterday. My son, >> they were so fun. Um, >> how about you? What are you up to this weekend while we’re making small talk?
>> Well, you know, I was um, [sighs] man, you asked in Villa, very important.
But anyways, um we’re going to do some time with the in-laws. But last weekend I was invited to and I was thinking I thought like a cork just for a moment, a brief moment, it it entered my mind, maybe I should invite Pat to this for the content only. I was invited to a screening at the Lemley for the Academy Awards collection of Oscar nominated animated shorts.
This was a screening of the five animated short films >> in the theaters.
>> What would Would you go to that?
>> I would.
>> You would?
>> Mhm.
>> Really?
>> Yes.
>> It was bad.
>> Yeah.
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah.
>> It was interesting, though. It was interesting. I’ve always thought that that’s those kind of categories are interesting because I think I could pull that one off if I had like 5 years head time. I’d be like, “All right, 2031. I want to win best animated film because they only need to be what? 4 minutes long.” >> No, no, no. Some of them it’s like between 10 and 20 minutes each.
>> Well, Kobe uh who’s the one who uh helicopter crashed?
>> The one who helicopter crashed was Kobe.
>> Kobe. He did a 4-minute one called uh I Love Basketball.
>> Yeah. He won an Academy Award for that.
That was a short animated film.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Okay. So, mine will be four minutes.
>> What’s yours going to be about?
>> I don’t know yet. I’ll have to workshop it. But anyway, if you gave me five years lead time, I would focus on that.
>> Okay.
>> And I and I’d win.
>> There was one called Papon, which had a really really amazing um art style.
There was another one called um The Girl Who Cried Pearls, which was out of Toronto that was uh nauseating and made me sick, but it was also really beautiful. Um, yeah, it was it was a lovely lovely time. And and the the purveyor of all these screenings is the great Michael Sable. Uh, one of the most Jewy people I’ve ever met in my life. He stands >> You can say that cuz you’re Jewish.
>> Yeah. No, he stands 5’4. He sounds like this. And he works in post-production.
He looks like a turtle. And his last name is a cured white fish that Jews put on bagels. So go, you know, case in point. I’ll invite you to the next one.
>> Thanks.
>> All right.
>> All right.
>> Uh, Kayn. Hello.
I’m not going to ask him what he it it’s going to take too we’ve been going on too long.
>> That’s all right.
>> Yeah.
>> Right.
>> Uh anything interesting of note this weekend, Kaylin?
>> Uh work.
>> There you go.
>> Yeah, we shouldn’t have.
And now I feel like he’s kind of like, well, I work on the weekends. You know, that kind of I feel like there was a superiority with that answer. One word.
Do am I paranoid or was was he trying that’s what he was trying to do, right?
>> Okay.
>> Half work, half job interview. So, >> okay. All right. Great. You get in the comments. Let us know what you did this past weekend. And here we go. And a one, two, three, four, five reindeer. Here we go. Getting into Below Deck.
>> There you go. Oh, do we want to do any uh housekeeping?
>> Yes. Before we get into Below Deck, our breakdown of Love is Blind at patreon.com/anotherpodcast.
>> I thought it was a fun season. Dylan hated the reunion. I actually enjoyed it. There was a couple surprises there.
Uh there are a couple people that we hate. They invited actually everybody in the audience were past uh cast members of the franchise, which was interesting.
>> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. Right.
>> Actually not. Um, but yeah, that was fun and we had a fun time recapping it. And then obviously you guys can’t wait till we start recapping our our triumphant.
No, no, no. Our triumphant return to the Bachelor franchise with our new team, Ruby Ren and Kalin. We’ve never done it as a forsome together.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> And we’re doing it with Taylor.
>> Tanky Paul. Yeah. It’s going to be a lot of fun. She looks like a Furby.
She’s interesting looking.
>> Well, she looks like a Furby.
>> Well, I can’t wait to recap her journey for love because we all know it’s going to work out.
>> Yeah.
>> How many children does she have? Three.
>> I don’t know.
>> It’s unbelievable.
Yeah, we’re also doing Summerhouse Patreon.
So, anyways, let’s get into the episode.
What happened this evening? I need to rescend a comment I made last week.
>> Okay, what was that comment? I called the >> use the B- word.
>> I said they were [ __ ] >> That’s a tough one, man.
>> I said these women were a bunch of [ __ ] And they were, don’t get me wrong, but they weren’t that bad, you know. And I do I’m embarrassed, pockmarked, pink cheicked, and embarrassed that I fell for it again. Was this your best? Obviously, a ruse pulled on the audience. this was going to be a bit and it was and I think a lot of my b-word impression was drawn from that dastardly trick. I feel duped and I feel remorseful.
>> Okay.
>> Now, someone saying I would like coconut water without ice. Ice defeats the purpose of coconut water may want to commit >> uh harmful acts, you know, >> but um and not any not really. That was the line that bothered me.
>> That that believe it or not, that was the line that bothered.
>> Oh, I thought it was we are not here to minimize our pallets.
>> God. Yeah. You know what? I I I I’m going to not rescend it. But they weren’t that at the end of the day.
>> That was that those lines and I and I like these charter guests. I thought they were a delight. But >> what >> those types of things that come out of your mouth are on the scale of obnoxiousness. They’re on par with who was that uh idiot that ripped people off with time shares that was married to the queen of Versailles. He said uh one time he was like uh chicken is for poor people or something. He’s dead now.
Thank god.
>> Uhhuh.
>> Anyway, it’s just the arrogance is in another class.
>> And you’ve done a deep dive on Pink magazine, right?
>> Well, I did. They’re fine. The magazine checked out. It was very good.
>> It did. Okay.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I never understand though like companies that like you’d think they’d have a more social media uh bigger social media presence like they have like 30,000 followers on Instagram. Is that >> a big deal or no?
>> Uh no, I don’t know. It’s you know listen we you know we’re no mavericks with social media but we do pretty good.
Um anyways listen uh I give this episode 77 pots. It was great to hear from poor Harrison.
>> Oh my god that poor guy. [laughter] Hey honey, I uh I I called uh there’s a search and rescue going on for you right now. I hadn’t heard from you in 4 days.
Alicia is just >> I called production. They said they can’t talk to me.
>> My god. Yeah, everything’s fine. Uh that conversation was great. And Jenna continues to be one of my favorite cast members we’ve had in some time. Also, I’m excited to get to How to Close More Assess Money with Eddie because he seems to be >> Dylan. Once again, I have to correct [laughter] you. I apologize. Spoke to my publishers.
>> Sorry. Sorry, >> it’s been changed. Uh, by the way, just for all the people that are excited about that book, it’s coming out in 2028. It’s >> before your Academy Award-winning short animated >> 2031. Yes. It’s uh uh cracking the code, how to close more ass for no money.
[laughter] >> Okay, got it.
>> Yeah. Um uh where was I?
>> He’s a mess when it comes to spitting game. I’ve never seen anybody. There’s that kind of uh e xy game versus attractiveness, right?
>> He’s attractive enough to not need the best game. He has the He I’m excited.
>> He has minus game.
>> He has minus game. It’s crazy.
>> He’s an idiot.
>> Yeah. 77.
>> All right. Uh I’m going to address your thoughts about Hasbin.
>> Yeah. who I am going to change his name back to Ben. Here’s my thoughts on this.
It’s nice to see someone find themselves again. And as you know, Patty calls balls and strikes here. As much as I’ll I’ll ri someone, bust their balls, rip them down to their core, make fun of them, mock them, I also when I see the goodness in them, just like Luke saw in Darth Vader, even though he killed a bunch of kids and blew up planets and whatnot. Yeah.
>> There’s always good in someone. I don’t think Luke really did Luke get the gravity of what Darth Vader had done.
>> I don’t think he did.
>> I don’t think he did either.
>> The prequels weren’t there yet. So I don’t >> because like it’s like we’re we’re going to be compassion. I know it’s your dad and everything. It makes things murky, but he killed hundreds of millions of people.
>> True.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. That’s a tough thing to get over.
>> Mhm. Well, anyway, uh I think the redemption for Ben has begun and it started with this six course meal.
>> He did it without enough, Dylan.
>> Okay.
>> No. All right. Well, I guess we’ll get there. No, it was it was good. It was good.
>> My point is everyone likes a winner, including Jenna. Now, I personally would like I think he’s too old for her. I would like him just to have a flirtatious banter with her throughout the >> He’s also too Wallace and Grommet for her, too.
>> Right. Yeah.
>> But I’m I’m rooting for him now. And I’m going to say something crazy.
>> I think he deserved that goddamn bath.
And I liked him having a full glass of pino noir.
>> Oh, really?
>> Yes. I think he deserved it.
>> Oh, cool.
>> I would have done the same goddamn thing.
>> That’s a hot take. I actually don’t mind that take. I disagree with it. Um but I don’t mind it. I would have cleaned up the galley with the bulan biscuit for about 30 minutes and said, “I’m going to do exactly what he did after that.” >> Yeah. But you would clean up the galley >> for 30 minutes.
>> Okay.
>> Mhm.
>> Yeah. He didn’t do it for one.
>> No.
>> Okay. And I’m sorry that I slipped into my baby voice there. I [laughter] don’t know why I did.
>> Okay. I think the episode overall was okay, but what are we expecting out of 16 episodes of watching Seats? 14 knots.
Kaylin, how many knots you give it?
>> I will give it 55 knots.
>> Wow.
>> That’s good knots. That’s a good knots.
>> Sorry, I just wanted to take a breath to compose myself before we got got into it.
>> Is that okay?
>> Yeah.
>> You know, >> Mecca is ready for a 7:30 dinner.
It’s going to be the best table ever.
>> And it was.
Did you see that goddamn tablescape?
>> Jenna, I’m on my feet. It was beautiful.
>> It was beautiful.
>> It was beautiful. Who is this peacock of a crapp?
>> Takes pride in her work.
>> She’s unbelievable.
>> God, her shutting Eddie down at the end of the episode.
>> Oh my god, that was awesome.
>> [ __ ] amazing.
>> Although, I think she talked to him too much. Why even bother with that idiot?
>> She was wasted.
>> Fair enough. [laughter] Is it going to be your best table ever?
Shut shut up. Go go go away. Well, this they’re feeling themselves.
>> This is my thing. Like I I don’t like the um administering of quizzes and tests at every corner. I got to just go enjoy your vacation.
>> It’s a stupid thing. This is what new money does.
>> New money does this. It is tacky.
>> Ben is having a tough time. Caviar service is going to be first, but he has lost his mother. Nope. Sorry. He has lost his oven. [laughter] >> Yeah. Yeah.
>> That’s weird.
>> No, no, no. You would equate the two.
>> That’s funny. Yeah. Yeah. Uh no oven, six courses. Uh his mother uh he he didn’t lose his mother. No, >> she’s still alive.
>> She’s not dead.
>> I’d say losing the oven is more like losing the deposit on that wedding than you because your buddy was porking your fiance. Right.
>> Side note, I think pork was going to be one of the courses.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Well, it was one of the options. You could do pork, salmon, chicken, or an eggplant dish.
Vegetarian.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> What do you mean? Do I like what you did there?
>> Huh?
>> Do I like that you What are you asking if I liked [laughter] >> anyway?
Some [ __ ] Mark Twain Foundation award-winning comedy bit there. Okay. I think your buddy was pork and your wife and I think pork was on the menu in more ways than one. Like a [ __ ] Brooklyn janitor.
>> Okay. Okay. Now, um before this happens, I believe the Balkan Biscuit >> uh grabs uh >> Jwow.
>> Jay Wow. And she wants to have a little chat with him >> about that um you know that wine date they had.
>> Now, I have a little inside information here. A little birdie told me there was a little uh little editing thing here.
When the Balkan Biscuit said, “I don’t want a threesome.” She might have been out there having a little glass of wine with him.
>> Yeah. Let’s not run a foul of any uh narratives with information we may or may not.
>> I’m just saying a little birdie told me.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Anyway, >> Pat loves talking to Cats.
>> Seats love talking to me.
>> I know. It’s a two-way street. That’s why it works so well. I’m just saying the Balk and Biscuit while crazy.
>> I’m so bad at talking to SE rats.
>> I love talking to them.
>> I was talking to one recently. I was like, I I can’t talk. I don’t know how to talk to people.
>> That’s why you let me talk to you.
>> Yeah. I don’t I can’t do it. [laughter] >> Remember I think one of the reasons why um we’re not on the greatest footing with Kate Chastain is because when she was pregnant years ago, I thought we had a rapport and I was like, “Hey whale, hope everything’s going [laughter] great.” And it’s like, >> yeah, >> I can’t do it. I need to I come across better in person.
>> Here’s the thing. I think Kastain I could never say anything bad about the Queen of the Sea. I think she’s just over us.
>> [ __ ] her. We hate her.
>> Oh, no.
>> No. I’m kidding. All right. So, Alicia loves her boyfriend. Um, don’t get her wrong, >> but she has been ignoring him for a few days. And because she hasn’t said one word in close to a week, he’s starting to get pretty concerned.
>> I’d argue the silence is more cruel >> than just being upfront with him or just call him and say, “How are you, honey?” >> Yeah, just communicate to him. Say, “Good morning. Really busy. Talk to you later.” She doesn’t do that. And then we’ll get to the conversation that she has with him later. Oh, that was If I was poor Harrison, I’d be like, I’m more confused than ever.
>> Yeah. Which is also cruel. Here’s what I would say. Yeah.
>> This is advice to a Cat.
>> Screw it. You’re a serat.
>> Just [ __ ] lie your ass to them.
>> Lie. Cuz as we know, Cats relationships, they’re like New Year’s uh res uh what do you call them? Res resolutions.
>> That’s what you call them.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Lots of hope, but quickly given up on. Oh, this is what I would say to any crat in a kind of new budding relationship with somebody. Okay, you’re in a two-month relationship with somebody, right? You’re about to go on a show. Lie. Do whatever you’re going to do on the show. The show’s not going to come out for another year.
>> Yeah. You’ll be through two more.
>> Yeah. You’ll have fallen in love seven more times by then.
>> Personal story. Quick one though. I’ve already told it, but new audience. We’re growing all the time. Yeah.
>> Dating this girl, Lebanese Lana. We’re together.
>> She punched you in the face famously.
>> Not only that, she threw a glass at my head.
>> Right.
>> So, uh, anyway, >> it was a toxic relationship.
>> Very much so. Not on this end. It was coming one way.
>> Full broil, though. It was hot and heavy.
>> This is the one that punched me in the car while I was driving. Dare I say very dangerous for both of us. Yeah.
>> Anyway, uh, we >> did she fool around with your [ __ ] or was that a different one?
>> No, that’s the Latina one. Okay. broke a acrylic nail in my [ __ ] [laughter] But this one was crazy in a different way. Anyway, I decide I’m falling in love with uh Lebanese Lana. We were together for a year. What she didn’t know was the night I met her, I’d actually met another girl and uh >> named Doritu or something.
>> I forget this girl’s name, but I slept with her. So, I decide because we had always put that date that we met as our anniversary date. I decided geniusly that I needed to admit that I’d slept with a girl on the night that we met.
>> I now I’d asked a couple guys at work at this insurance company, North American Insurance, should I tell her this? They said, “Are you out of your mind?” I said, “No, I need to be honest.” So, we go out to Hamburger Hamlet. We’re halfway through our hamburgers. I said, “Lana, I love you with all my heart.
>> I need to admit this to you.” On the night we met, I slept with some random girl.
>> And then you took another bite of your western bacon cheeseburger.
>> I did. She said, “I can’t eat anymore.” And I said, “Can I finish yours?” >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Anyway, I dumped her like 3 months later.
>> Yeah.
>> I should have never admitted that.
>> No. No.
>> Stupid.
>> Is Hamburger Hamlet still there?
>> Don’t know.
>> Van Eyes.
>> Oh, no. That one’s been gone for a while.
>> Really?
>> Mhm.
>> What’ they do there? Big hockey puck kind of things.
>> Don’t remember. It’s been a number of years. I don’t eat meat anymore.
>> That’s true.
[sighs and gasps] >> Kaylin, how you doing?
>> Good.
>> Okay. Um, so let’s get to Well, first I don’t know who this [ __ ] monster is, but I’m pretty hung up on it.
I I I didn’t ask for ice in my coconut water. It defeats the purpose of coconut water. What are you talking about? What is that mean?
>> We [clears throat] can move on.
>> No, let me say this. I think Alicia was putting out some sort of energy. If you uh go back >> smile more.
>> Well, I think that was a jab and that might have been to at least acknowledge they all hated her.
>> I think she was putting out an energy that the charter guest didn’t like. I’m just reading into a lot of things.
>> Okay.
>> Uh and she was the one that she had that little call on.
>> Yeah. All right. Well, let’s get to table decor and the dinner prep. Jen is called off the bench because Alicia, newly promoted from uh galley hand to interior, can’t do tables. And once again, this is you have to ask Daisy.
What are you doing?
What are you doing? You going to have Alicia do the tables for this group of people?
>> What?
>> I’m surprised he didn’t take a nap.
>> You’re gonna have Conka trucks on the [ __ ] T. It’s going to look like a poker night. It’s It’s going to be an absolute disaster.
>> So, anyways, >> it’s to be sexy. It’s to be the best table ever.
>> And the best table ever it is. We’ll get to it. Mikey isn’t working on the deck enough. And Eddie still has a ton of anxiety because of the crat drama. Eddie is uh he’s a fragile creature right now.
Eddie, nothing is literally nothing is happening right now. Just tie the ropes.
>> Yeah. But haven’t you ever like [ __ ] up and you just want to resolve it and you can’t because you’re working, you’re busy. Yeah. And you’re going nuts. It’s consuming all your thoughts.
>> Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Uh >> when I leave the house and I’m pissed off at my wife.
>> Yeah.
>> And you’re like, even though we’ve been together for almost 15 years, it’s still like that young love >> fog.
>> I’m like, I hope she calls me.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> She better call me first cuz I’m not calling her. So then you keep staring at your phone.
>> Yeah. Totally. Totally. Yeah. No. Been there, girlfriend. Kaylin, you’ve been there.
>> Of course.
>> Let’s get to dinner. Drink service first. Uh then cheese, meats, and caviar. Um this doesn’t go long enough.
Um this caviar and cocktail service lasts about 20 minutes. And Ben is right that this is not a very long time, >> but it should last 20 minutes.
>> Yeah, I think 30.
>> Okay.
>> I think 30. But but Ben is of this mind where Ben is still Ben came up in the boot camp kind of salad days of the first couple of seasons of Below Deck wherein the people that chartered these vessels were flidian trash. So you could boss them around a little bit. Now we’ve got people that cannot you you are not to tell a paying guest actually you’re going to do what we [ __ ] tell you. Now I understand why Ben still thinks that because he has a delusions of grandeur and he thinks that he’s a celebrity of sorts. But the fact that Ben thinks that Daisy should be telling the guests no is bananas to me. Yeah. And I would actually I would really like to see Ben.
What? Hey, here’s an idea, buddy. Why don’t you go up there and tell them you’re not doing it.
>> You’re absolutely right.
>> Okay. Cuz you wouldn’t do it. You wouldn’t do it for a second because we saw you waffle up there when they asked you if this was your best.
>> You know, your uh >> your bark is bigger than your bite. So, let’s not lash out at Daisy. Let’s not lash out at Alicia. Let’s not have Ellie do. I don’t like how he treats women is what I’m trying to say. It’s a little [ __ ] weird.
>> Well, it’s not the first time we’ve seen that on this show from a chef coming from the galley. But I I will say this, >> being in the front lines of service is absolutely the toughest position to be in. So, I feel for Daisy.
>> Yeah, me too. And we’re no fans of Daisy.
>> Absolutely not.
>> All right. So, uh we get to a very rushed dinner with no oven. First up, a cured flap of red snapper with h pepper and chini straight from the jar. I don’t know what kind of pallets these people have, but this was a disgusting meal.
>> First course in the first course or in general?
>> In general. But this first course was disgusting.
>> Okay. I I want you to go through every single course, but I want to start with this. Sure. And I I’ve touched on this before.
>> Taking pictures of your food.
>> Mhm.
>> Okay.
>> God. Now, I’m going to break this down because you could just say, “Oh, come on. It’s you’re on a trip.” But I really want to ask a person.
>> Yeah. [laughter] >> The picture itself.
>> Right.
>> Right. Right. Right.
>> If I can’t imagine sitting next to someone weeks later and they say, “Oh, you went on a trip. Oh, that’s great. I show me the sunset.
>> Look at the flap of lime cured fish we ate.” >> I want to see how you set that up that I will see that picture. So therefore, that picture will never be shown anyway.
Then I want to know what time of day do you flip through your pictures to look at that dead fish, >> right, >> with the pepperini on top of it and then stare at it. You don’t. There is no reason to take a picture of that [ __ ] plate.
>> Perhaps I am culinarily ignorant, though I don’t think the fans would accuse me of that.
I don’t want jarred pickled peppers anywhere near a raw fish dish. It makes no sense. I would sooner have a [ __ ] piece of American cheese. See what you do with it. I don’t know. This seems weird. But pepperonchinis on top of this makes absolutely no sense. It’s a car crash of a dish. 12 pots. Also, on a vessel this size in the middle of the [ __ ] ocean, there is no such thing culinary wise as fivestar. Everything’s in a [ __ ] jar. There’s a bunch of salt to make it last 5 days, nothing is fivestar.
>> Now, let me ask you this. What >> So, unless you’re a [ __ ] food blogger, put the goddamn camera down.
>> Let me ask you this. What’s worse?
Someone showing you a picture of their meal, maybe three courses, or someone showing you a minute long video of a concert they went to.
>> Oh my god, those people. H the people that hold up their >> Yeah.
>> A minute of Jack White shredding, but you can’t re It just sounds horrible because it’s recorded on somebody’s Android.
>> You want those? And it is. It’s always >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Wow. Well, that solo sounds great. You want to know the saddest thing >> is the cheap seats people that keep like with their fingers spreading out the camera to zoom in and you can tell they are literally 8,000 ft away from it. It is so obscured and blurred that you’re like, “Wow.” >> Oh, wow. You must have box seats. Wow. I can see Santana’s fingers. Oh, wait. Not [laughter] >> they’re filming the monitors at the concert. But because you’re filming the monitor, it’s that that um >> it’s that problem where it’s not syncing up with the camera, so it’s just buzzing [laughter] over.
>> Wow. Did you film this from your Southwest flight from the window? If you go, if you’re lucky enough to see a sermon in Rome that the Pope is delivering it, they they have the Pope on all these screens, but because they don’t want people filming it, if you’re trying to film it, it’s the screens are just going haywire.
>> Uh, hey loser, I have better advice for you. Uh, why don’t you uh rent their concert on HBO and then take a picture of the TV?
>> Or here’s a good idea. Let’s just put the phones away.
>> There you go.
>> Let’s be present. All right, let’s get to the second course. It’s a cured octopus with onion pearls and I think pickles or something. It looked disgusting. People didn’t like it.
>> Jason did.
>> The presentation was nice.
>> Um, and I didn’t do my due diligence on what this was. I’m gonna give it 90 pots because of that. That’s a failure on my part. Third up, the 15th lobster spring roll [laughter] of the season.
>> Wow, what a surprise. I would I would argue >> one of the guests said, “I’m going to need another one.” You’ve already had so many. [laughter] >> And no one at that table mentioned, “Yeah, we’ve already had this.” >> No. And the lobster spring roll sat upon an a just a gelatinously beautiful puddle of bottled sweet chili sauce.
[laughter] This is an 18-year-old at USC who wants to get into cooking serving his roommates a meal.
Has been better.
>> Has been >> holy [ __ ] >> I would have just for me as a chef that for my own selfrespect, I would have pulled this out of the courses because it had already been served.
Right? If you made sea rat lunch and had served a lobster spring roll as many times as you have to pay in guests to sea rats, the sea rats would have a problem with it.
>> Mhm.
>> Okay.
>> Oh, we had this yesterday.
>> Yeah. Mike, he’d be like, “Hey, May, what’s up with the loves of spring rolls? We have had too many of these.” That’s how he talks. All right, let’s get to him. Actually, really quickly, [snorts] >> I want to ask about the palette cleanser. Is >> okay.
>> The sorbet was it? [snorts] It was a sorbet uh >> with a little chocolate little cakey thing.
>> Uh I believe that the um so there there was if I recall correct wreck um and um I don’t know why I always say that it’s from eastbound and down. Um [snorts] there there was >> see this black card? [laughter] >> I love that one.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> What is it? It’s AMX. [laughter] Anx. What did he say? He goes, “Uh, this gets you, uh, this gets you front row at, uh, Jonas Brothers, but this card gets you all three Jonas Brothers sucking your cock.” [laughter] >> Yeah.
>> Who are you? I’m your dad. Kidding. Your dad’s dead. [laughter] >> Yeah. Great show.
>> I loved it. [snorts] >> Um, uh, >> God, I love little Aaron.
>> I’ll [ __ ] cut your [ __ ] titties.
>> All right. [laughter] Okay, let’s get back to it. The pallet cleanser.
>> What pallet cleanser of sorbet made with dark fruits? Stone fruits perhaps?
No, it was berries.
[snorts] Um, I’m never one to advocate for anyone to stay in a mold, but if you’re going to break out of said mold, let’s do it with some cohesiveness and some vision. Okay, we’re not cleansing any pallet with a mixed berry sorbet. If you want to go pomelo, that’s something I haven’t seen before, but usually we’re in a citrus realm, right? We’re not going to do a mixed berry to cleanse the palette.
That’s a dessert. That’s a first dessert and then we can get to your [ __ ] overbaked apple empanadas. Okay. Seeping goo out of the poorly sealed crust. I mean, the whole thing was [laughter] disgusting.
>> Wow. Yeah. Yeah.
>> I guess someone hit McDonald’s drive-thru.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. The Alex Jones memes have just been going nuts.
Have you seen them?
>> No.
>> Alex Jones famously sat down with Patrick Bet David and he was asked to do quickfire uh words for famous politicians Betto A or Steve Bannon the whole thing. but they’ve taken it and uh they’ve applied it to lots of different aspects and one of them my favorites is uh they show different McDonald’s menu items and uh Alex Jones says the rword many times. Um so if that offends you then don’t watch them but uh apple pie comes up and he goes traitor [laughter] vampire traitor. Anyways check him out.
Sorry sorry sorry. Okay. It’s just I’ve seen so many of them and they make me laugh every time. Okay.
>> I’m being too hard on this meal. Let’s just break the fourth wall a little bit.
It was fine. Okay. I’m just having fun [ __ ] on it. Mixed berry is not a pallet cleanser, though. Let’s take a quick break to talk about a marvelous sponsor.
>> Oh, yeah. You want to talk about a cleaner? A palette cleanser.
What?
>> Go ahead. Tear us up. Tear us up.
>> Laundry sauce.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Gosh, do we love laundry sauce.
>> Oh, yeah, I do.
>> Laundry sauce is something that we have needed for such a long time. And we have had an amazing experience with laundry sauce. Okay, >> my box came this week.
>> I love this stuff. Okay, it’s time for some spring cleaning. When it comes to the scent of your laundry, it shouldn’t smell like the same thing you use to disinfect your bathroom. Okay, everyone is just settling for the same scents.
Okay, now don’t get me wrong, clean clothes always smell great. Do what what are you in the back back cabinets of of that snow piercer train? We can have we can have THINGS SMELL BAD. COCKROACHES.
>> WE can have things smell better than this. Okay.
>> My box showed up this week. They had uh pods in there. Fabric softener. Yeah. Oh my god.
>> Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Does Australian sandalwood smell good?
>> I love it.
>> Does Italian bergamont smell good?
>> Oh my god. I don’t deserve to smell that well.
>> What about Egyptian rose?
>> Dude, I don’t deserve that.
>> Yeah. So, maybe amp up the scent game a little bit. Um, there are concentrated pods that are packed with cleaning power, bioenzymes that obliterate stains from muddy hikes, backyard barbecues, and that inevitable iced coffee smell.
And because spring is all about fresh starts, they revive fabrics, making your favorite pieces look and feel brand new.
For a limited time only, our listeners get 20% off their entire order when you use code bad TV at laundrysauce.com.
That’s 20% off your order at laundrysauce.com with promo code badtv.
They’ve also made their Target debut.
Okay, so it they’re in select Targets.
90% of customers love Laundry Day because of Laundry Sauce. Okay, and maybe the best part, they offer a full money back guarantee. Okay, so go to laundrysauce.com, use promo code badv, and you will get 20% off. Try it out.
Help the show. It helps the show tremendously.
>> Help us out.
>> All right. Mikey is a gossipy little bird. Uh I want to talk about him. He just goes up to Jenny. He’s like, “Zo, you think you’re done with Mikey?” What?
Or with with Eddie? Mikey, stay out of this.
>> He’s a world class wang wrecker. And he didn’t know it at the time what he was doing, but I think he did.
>> Mhm.
>> You don’t do this, dude. Bro code, man.
Bro code.
>> Yeah. Mikey deserved it. Eddie deserved it, but Mikey, you didn’t need to help him out ruining his life.
>> All right, so let’s get back to the meal because there’s so much more to to break down.
The fifth course is a real um bad trip.
Um it is a local mahi mahi served with some kind of orange puree and we’ve [snorts] seen this uh spoon swipe technique. It’s I think Ben does a great job with it. But um if you follow the lion’s tail to the southwest corner of the plate, you’ll find peas.
>> Saw that.
>> Okay. Now, obviously, this is a call back to the filthy fair served in the United Kingdom, right? Fried fish with mushy peas and stuff like that. But if we’re going to do this Caribbean kind of English fusion, we have to stop. We have to think about the history of colonization and how none of this works on the pallet and steer clear. Okay, we end with an emp apple empanada, which I actually thought looked really, really delicious.
>> I thought you referred to it as a cowzone. Cow’s gh.
>> You’re so right.
>> I love how he dressed it up as a cowzone.
>> You’re so right. Yeah.
>> Very creative calling something that.
>> Oh god.
When you think calzone, you think gut bust. You think uh just a pound and a half of ricotta and mozzarella sitting at the bottom of your stomach. And now you’re turning on the Sopranos or whatever you watch to go to sleep. Okay.
an apple empanada. An apple. I come up with a calzone is not a sexy name.
Desserts are supposed to be light on their feet. They’re supposed to be a delicate kind of thing.
>> He must have made that up right on the spot, right?
>> You know how uh when they do um chopped and those knuckleheads have to come up with, well, this is a deconstructed apple salad upside down something.
>> And I should say desserts don’t have to be light on their feet. Some there’s some that are light on their feet and there are some that are just proudly um you know a gooey butter cake and uh and that’s fine too. Overall, I thought it was a lovely lovely and valiant effort coming out of a kitchen with no oven and a sue chef that doesn’t know how to cook. I would say uh fish dominant, but lovely uh uh 64 pots.
>> Two fish dominant.
>> Lot of fish. After dinner, Mikey just goes to bed.
[snorts] Okay. [laughter] And this is when Ellie has a chat with Jahow about the wine moment. Now, Jah wants to feel wanted. He loves feeling wanted, but we’ll get to that later on in the season. Caviar pizza is requested. It looks bad. And when Alicia brings it up, they ask, “Is that it?” Not a problem. Just asking if that’s it.
This is what annoys me about these people. What are we doing with that? You know, when you were talking about your unresolved drama, looking at the phone, that’s what this is doing. It’s it’s >> setting off these little anxiety waves that are just completely unnecessary.
>> That’s a better way to frame it. Hey, um, can we also have this?
>> Yeah, that’s all I have to say.
>> Alicia has a ton of stuff to do at night, but there’s a bit of an issue.
Alicia, um, goes to sleep just like Mikey. She just goes, “Yeah, I’m not doing any of this.” >> Well, she’s stressed out.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> She’s got to talk to Harrison and lie to him the next day.
>> Yeah, exactly. And that’s a big big swing.
>> Yeah. Hey, remember when I told you I loved you?
>> Uh well, I’m just going to start. Uh you know, I was um flirtatious, you know?
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. Well, you know what? I was going to Well, anyway, I flirted a little bit, but uh >> I love you >> and I love you and uh anyway, I got to go. I’m going to go out tonight.
>> Yeah. And Harrison’s like, “What?
Sorry. You love me, but you get that you’re We’ll get to the conversation in a minute. Alicia leaves.
>> It was a mess.
>> She leaves pizza out just just an absolute catastrophe out on this table.
>> As someone who has to clean up a lot of parties cuz the hickeys throw a lot of parties here. Grab a big trash bag.
>> Mhm.
>> And you [clears throat] just walk around even with a throw carry around a wine glass. Get have a couple >> have fun. just start just throwing [ __ ] in the plastic bag.
>> Yeah. Now, um I love Jenna waking up in the morning and just going up to Mikey and dressing him down because she gets up and she goes, “What the [ __ ] is this?” Hey, Mikey, I got a question for you. What the [ __ ] is this?
>> Jenna is she’s she’s a serious operator.
Now, Alicia gets up and Daisy goes to her and says, “Hey, uh not that thrilled about the job you did last night. What’s going on?” And Alicia begins to break down in tears. Okay, >> she’s emotional wreck.
>> Daisy recognizes and I will give Daisy all the credit in the world. Um, good man management and is knowing the kind of men you have to manage. Now, sorry for saying this. Neither of these people are men, but you get what I’m saying.
I’m coming at it from a soccer uh place.
>> You have to, as a manager, know the kinds of people you’re working with.
It’s not all square pegs and square holes. You have to adjust your management style to the psychopaths.
>> Yes. Let’s get to breakfast. Hudson Valley duck breast would have been great uh last night. I don’t know what this is [ __ ] doing at at [laughter] >> Wow.
>> What is going on? I’m going to throw duck breast out for breakfast.
>> I think he opened up the fridge and he looked at the like expiration date. He’s like, “Fuck it. I got to cook this before it turns green.” >> Chickpea spice cakes and omelets. What Dr. Seuss nightmare is this breakfast?
He sends them off in confusion and in style. The ladies leave and they were annoying, but they were not that bad.
Let’s get to the comment cards and the tip meeting.
>> Well, hold on, hold on, hold on. I want to say this. Next day, new day. Um, wouldn’t you know what? That new oven arrives and Ben, he’s still out that wedding deposit, but you know what? That [ __ ] oven showed up.
>> Yeah, his mom came back to life.
[laughter] And Jenna is back on the Ben the Ben trip. Wow.
>> Isn’t it nice to see redemption?
>> Yeah.
Yeah.
>> We’ll see if it I mean I think uh the Balkan Biscuit’s yelling at him next week, but uh >> Yeah, we’ll see that. We’ll see what what happens there.
>> Um All right. So, tip first.
>> $28,000.
>> Wow.
>> Big one. You can say uh like little piffy things under your breath. If you’re going to tip me 21,00 bucks, >> yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada.
>> That’s what I’d be saying if I got $28,000. Okay. Uh Alicia should smile more.
>> I’m telling you, she did something. They weren’t feeling something with her. They hated her >> because of that. Alicia gets the helmet.
Now the kitchen, >> by the way, Captain Jason didn’t even address it with her.
>> No. Okay. Not good.
>> Alicia, if there’s if there’s one person that would get the helmet, I’d say it’s you because >> it looked like a World War II battlefield on the table last night. You just went to sleep, so you’re going to be getting the helmet. Um, kitchen is a [ __ ] nightmare, and so is Ben. Um, there’s probably three to four hours worth of work here to do.
>> I think so. I could wrap that up in an hour. I was a dishwasher.
>> You think?
>> Mhm.
>> I think Ben’s very lucky to have somebody like the Balkan Biscuit who had bombs dropped on her when she was a child. If she had if he had Alicia, >> staring at this amount of work would freeze people. You have to just move towards something when you have this much [ __ ] to do. And the Balkan Biscuit is that kind of [ __ ] >> Well, let me say this, too. Ben understood. There’s sometimes there’s problems when you’re too good at something. Ben recognized that the Balkan biscuit is very good and will is a hard worker so he took advantage of it honestly.
>> Yep.
>> You got to be sometimes you got to show that you could be a little mediocre.
>> Yeah.
>> He went upstairs took a Libyan dictator bath.
>> He did that son of a [ __ ] Well, I will say this though. Let me defend Ben here because I’ve been hard on him the first quarter of the season.
He takes a warm bath. Big pour on that.
>> Oh, perfect temperature.
>> There you go. That’s right, dear.
>> Yeah, that was a that was a [ __ ] wine mom pour.
>> Let’s Oh, big time [laughter] before she gets in that uh van.
>> Uh Sharon’s teeth are purple. [laughter] >> Don’t forget the Zadex she took. Yeah.
>> But in Ben’s defense, after the hard work that he did do, regardless of what you think about the meal >> or the meals he served, >> Yeah.
>> the tip, the tip solely rested on his shoulders. Let me uh let me break it down. Did the guests uh use the water toys?
>> No.
>> Did the guests go scuba diving?
>> No.
>> Did they go shopping in the city?
>> No, you can’t shop for anything there.
The only thing you can purchase is feral dogs and you don’t even need to purchase.
>> That’s right. Or they’ll bite you and then you die of rabies or turn into a zombie. Did they do a stupid theme party and require choreography from sea rats?
>> No.
>> No.
Uh, it was they ate food. Lots of it.
>> He gets to drink red wine like Mariah Carey.
He did everything.
>> Hello. On the tapeworm. Keep feeding me.
You served them six spring rolls.
>> What are we talking about?
>> Fine. But he gets to do it. He did all the work.
>> Alicia calls her boyfriend and says, “I need to tell.” This is what she said.
She goes, “Um, you be uh Alicia’s boyfriend.” Okay.
>> Hey, where you been?
>> Hey, honey. I just want to tell you, um, sorry that I haven’t spoken to you in 4 days. I, you know, I love you, right?
>> Yeah, I think you love me. What’s up?
>> Yeah. No, I love you a lot. And I just have to tell you, um, that there are some things that I need to talk to you about.
>> Well, that’s what I was thinking about.
Like, is anything going on?
>> Um, yeah. A lot has been going on. And you know that I love you.
>> Well, I Yeah, I know.
>> But you also know that I’m flirty.
>> Yeah, you said that. But >> and that’s why I wanted to talk to you about how there have been some situations where I’ve handled them.
>> Yeah.
>> All right. Love you, honey. I’ll talk to you later. I got to go. [laughter] Hey.
[panting] >> Hey. Hello.
>> What the [ __ ] >> Hello.
>> Yeah, she really knows how to put a MAN AT EASE.
>> HELLO.
>> SO, poor Harrison. My god.
>> I would dump her ass right there.
[laughter] I’d call back production. I’d be like, I’d call Bravo. Can [clears throat] I speak to someone on Below Deck?
>> 1800 Bravo.com.
>> Dump her ass.
>> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. All right.
Alicia.
>> And I think that we’re going to have Alicia on the show soon. So, uh, you know, lucky to have her.
>> Well, I >> No, we listen. whatever. Call Balls and Strikes where I’m excited to talk to.
>> By the way, a good opportunity uh to join our Facebook group, another Below Deck Podcast or Bad TV. Get in there if you have a question for Alicia. Alisa.
>> Alicia.
>> Alicia.
>> Yeah.
>> I don’t know how to say it. Anyway, get in there and ask a question for her. We might have her on next week.
>> Okay. Um you know what? I just broke my rule. You never You know, never brought it up. That’s why I brought on.
>> I feel good about this one.
Let’s get to the white party. The triangle is back. Jenna is feeding Eddie pasta. And Eddie is still kind of doing this thing where he’s trying to I don’t understand what he’s doing. He texted Alicia, I would drop her in a second to be an alien with you in the moon. And now he’s eating pasta and looking over at Alicia. What What are we doing here? What is this? Makes no sense. Mhm.
>> And then uh Yeah. Yeah. So So from the angle of how to close ass for no money, what is what is Eddie’s fault here?
>> Uh focus on work. Pay attention to neither of them. [laughter] >> I mean really.
>> Okay. Yes.
>> Yeah. Cross your fingers.
>> Right. Okay. So if you focus on your duty >> Yeah. That’s attractive to women.
>> The duty will come.
>> Yes.
>> Right. Okay. Got it. Now, um, Jason heads to the restaurant.
>> By the way, this had to have pissed him off. I don’t think for a second that he saw that the disco helmet was there.
Production tipped him off. I noticed when she left and this Alicia, I can’t wait to talk to you if we get to talk to you.
>> What are you doing?
>> You mentioned it.
>> No, no, no. I’m saying to Alicia, what are you doing leaving the helmet behind?
It’s so crazy.
>> It’s vanity. She didn’t want to ruin her hair. She wanted to look hot. Oh, but this is >> everyone else that has been doing this show for a number of years has always worn the helmet.
>> Yeah, >> I get it. You want to go out, you wear it for dinner, you wear it to the club, then you take it off and you can dance your ass off.
>> It’s a kindergarten litmus test of a small societal cohesion. Okay, this is a group of seats. We have a couple of rules. You have to do your job.
>> You have to wear the helmet if it’s given to you. You can drink as much as you want. You can puke up in your room.
You can do whatever you want. You just have to do your job and you have to bring the helmet back. You got to wear the helmet for Alicia to not wear the helmet out. She’s she’s showing to the other seats. I I’m not here to play.
Okay. This is not good. This I don’t I’m calling it right now. Alicia’s getting fired.
>> I I >> It’s either going to be a batul or who’s not on the show.
>> She’s not on the show.
>> Or Alicia. I I would say that Alicia is probably going to get fired. [sighs] >> I don’t know. I think so. So, let’s get to an I know and let’s talk about Pul for a minute.
Don’t do this. Don’t do this. We We can’t There’s really no excuse in casting. You can’t cast someone who just doesn’t make it on the show. You You’ve done such a bad job there. And I understand what you were attempting to do here, but let’s not do that here, right? Let’s just have people who are going to mix it up on the show. This was never going to work out.
>> She’s a sweetheart, but No.
>> Well, yeah. We’re not saying that she’s not a lovely person. Um, we get to >> Well, at dinner. Yeah.
>> All right. So, this is where Jenna does.
There was some weird editing here because there’s dinner plates in front of everybody and then they show Jenna go like, I’m out of here. I’m gonna go sit next to Ben, but there were no plates there, so that obviously some time had uh lapsed.
>> Jenna goes over, hangs out with Ben, gets pretty flirty with him. I think he’s smacking her on the ass. He tells her she’s hot like 18 times. He’s obviously not read the early uh versions, chapters I put out that the New York Times have published about cracking uh the code.
>> Uh because he you don’t tell a woman she’s hot like 18 times.
>> No, >> you say it like once, but >> you say you’re beautiful. You don’t say hot and then smack him on the ass with a rolling pin, right? That’s not [laughter] something want to do, right?
Um, okay. So, we get to the club.
There’s a feral cat this time. That was good.
>> Um, couple things happening. Ben and Jenna, he’s a romantic. Daisy is starting to warm up to breaking her code that she’s never not broken.
>> That’s right. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, that’s going to happen. And then Mikey tries to hook up with Ellie again. I don’t know what this is. A little bit like um I don’t know. Uh Tom trying to get Jerry. He just never does, you know.
>> He never ever does.
>> Ain’t going to happen, Mikey.
>> Um so Mikey Yeah. We wish you all the luck in the world. We get into the vans and Eddie and Jenna have a blacked out kind of confrontation wherein Eddie tries to continue to open his opportunity to get in Jenna’s pants and Jenna with a [ __ ] full hang grenade in a styrofoam cup still has the composure despite blowing a 1.7 to go, “Hey, >> no, you’re disgusting. It’s not going to happen.” And he tries to lie to her. He goes, “This is how wasted he is.” He goes, >> she goes, “I saw the text. I saw you say that you would drop me in a second.” He goes, “I never said that. I love South Africans.” She goes, “Fucking get away from me.” Meanwhile, Batul is sleeping.
Bad casting.
>> Bad casting.
>> That’s it for us. Jump in the comments.
Let us know what you thought about the episode. Have a great rest of your week.
Uh, Love is Blind at Patreon.
Summerhouse at Patreon. Bachelor coming.
And >> a good day to you. I’m Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye guys. See you.